


Is That A Baguette In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?

by fringedweller



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: F/M, First Time, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-03
Updated: 2011-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 14:33:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringedweller/pseuds/fringedweller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone in Haven's getting loved up, but nobody can figure out why. Or, really, wants to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is That A Baguette In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?

**Author's Note:**

> [](http://seren-ccd.livejournal.com/profile)[**seren_ccd**](http://seren-ccd.livejournal.com/) better get internet at home quickly or I'm going to keep inflicting unbetad stuff on you.

_**Haven fic: Is That A Baguette In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me?**_  
Title: Is That A Baguette In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Pleased To See Me? Part One  
Author: [](http://fringedweller.livejournal.com/profile)[**fringedweller**](http://fringedweller.livejournal.com/)  
Pairing: Nathan/Audrey, others  
Rating: NC-17  
Total word count: 8027  
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money being made.  
Warnings: None  
Summary: Everyone in Haven's getting loved up, but nobody can figure out why.Or, really, wants to.  
Author's Note: [](http://seren-ccd.livejournal.com/profile)[**seren_ccd**](http://seren-ccd.livejournal.com/) better get internet at home quickly or I'm going to keep inflicting unbetad stuff on you.

One morning Larissa Donovan woke up to find that her cat, Flossy, had been sick in the night all over her prized Aubisson rug. She was incredibly frustrated, partly at the mess on the one expensive item she allowed herself to buy, but mainly because the damned cat seemed completely oblivious to the trouble it caused her. She cleaned the mess up before heading into work at her small bakery on Main Street, but it made her late. The bread wasn’t quite ready for bagging as the bakery opened at nine am, the sweet rolls had been left too long in the oven and were an unappetising dark brown and she had completely forgotten to put in a tray of savoury meat and vegetable pastries.

Her dark mood affected her staff, who were surly and uncooperative all morning, sniping at each other behind the counter and barging past each other in the hot kitchen at the back of the business.

Benjamin Burrows, who had stopped by to pick up a sandwich for his lunch, yelled at his wife that night for forgetting to pick up a bag of frozen peas from the supermarket.

Angelica Evans, who ran the office for a fishing company, dropped by Larissa’s to buy a selection of sweet pastries for a colleague’s birthday. Three hours later she had fired that colleague for insubordination and a tendency to hog the office supplies.

Laverne, the Haven PD dispatcher, bought a bag of bread rolls to make lunch for the week ahead. During the next week she snapped out orders over the radio waves and had every officer on the force running scared. More worrying than that, she didn’t call Nathan “sugar” once. What she _did_ call him was actually illegal over an open radio channel, but nobody in the station had the guts to arrest her for it.

  
One morning, Larissa Donovan woke up to find an email in her in-box from an old college friend that had disappeared from her radar years before. They made plans to call and meet up, and Larissa went into work pleased and excited. That day the bread rose beautifully, the cupcake frosting cooperated happily and the new line of pizza slices she was trialling sold out fifteen minutes after she put them on the counter.

After buying a box of doughnuts, Eleanor Chisholm was delighted to literally bump into an old flame on the way back to her office. Their reunion was short but sweet, involving the entire box of doughnuts and a rented hotel room, but she was smiling for weeks afterwards.

And the sticky sheets were somebody else’s problem.

Duke Crocker was tempted into the small bakery by the tempting smell of the pizza slices, and after detouring there for lunch decided to go the whole hog and wander around the new second-hand bookshop that had set up across the street. He bagged three signed Steven Kings in mint condition for twenty dollars, and returned back to his boat a happy man.

Lenny Milton, a mechanic, dropped in to pick up some cupcakes for his wife. She had been feeing miserable because conceiving their first child was taking a lot longer than they had anticipated. He wanted to get her something nice to cheer her up, and her sweet tooth was legendary. He picked out some pretty pink cupcakes, because that was her favourite colour and little things like him remembering that made her happy. Lenny would do anything to make her happy.

The cakes must have been a sign, he thought nine months later, still dazed with joy, because both twins turned out to be healthy, happy girls.

  
One morning Larissa Donovan woke up to find herself wrapped in the strong arms of Garland Wuornos. She took a moment to appreciate him, laying there asleep. They had dated in high school, when his hair was dark brown and his face unlined with the worries of the world. They’d been quite the hot thing, until Maggie Westland had moved to Haven and Garland had fallen head over heels for the quiet redhead. Larissa had been hurt, but then one day Mike Donovan had scooped her books from her arms and announced that he was walking her to her next class. They had been married as soon as they both graduated college, and had spent twenty five happy years together until he had passed away peacefully one night of an undetected blood clot that had travelled to his brain.

Larissa had been devastated. Haven had rallied around and tried to support her, but it had been the visits from Garland that had helped her the most. Garland had lost his Maggie many years before, but he still carried the pain of her passing just as she knew she would always carry the pain of losing Mike. You could see the grief etched into his tired face, so different from the laughing young man she had let fumble under her sweater so many years ago.

Little visits turned into longer ones; a quickly-made sandwich offered for lunch turned into longer, private dinners she worked carefully to produce. One autumn day he turned up with a collection of ladders and tools and cleaned out her gutters, a job that Mike had always done. At Christmas time, when she was utterly miserable with the thought of being alone, he arrived on her doorstep with a very good bottle of whiskey and they talked all night about how wonderful Maggie and Mike had been

One night, about three years after Mike had died, he turned up on her doorstep, disgruntled and anxious, and presented her wordlessly with a flyer for a concert up in Derry.

“They’re a tribute band,” he said gruffly, after she had read it. “I suppose the real deal are long past playing. But you used to like them and I was wondering…”

He looked at her helplessly, unable to form the actual words. Larissa took pity on him.

“I’d love to,” she said kindly. “It’s very thoughtful of you to ask me.”

She scanned the flyer again. She noticed the creases in the paper, and the spots where it had thinned from being folded and refolded. He had obviously been holding onto it for some time.

“Garland, this is for tonight,” she said, smiling. “You’re not giving me a lot of time to get ready!”

He smiled at her, a smile of relief and hope.

“I bought the tickets a month ago,” he admitted, a little sheepishly. “I was just working up the nerve to ask you.”

Larissa had laughed, he beamed at her, and for a second she saw the handsome young man again. It had taken him twenty five years to be her friend again; it had taken him a month to work up the courage to ask her on a date; it took Larissa just shy of two weeks to invite him into her bed.

This morning was the first that they had spent together. He usually went home, and she was usually glad he did. But last night had been different, special. He had pulled her close and gruffly asked if he could stay, and she had just kissed him until they both fell asleep. Now his hand was on her hip, and she was lying across his other arm, tucked in tight to his body. He was carrying a few extra pounds now, and owning a bakery hadn’t exactly been kind to her figure either. But they fit together, two older people picking up where they had left off. Larissa smiled, kissed him on the nose and extracted herself carefully. Just because she had to be up at a stupid time in the morning didn’t mean he had to.

Larissa Donovan woke up that way for a week, and for the first time in a long time felt happy, safe and loved. Her skin glowed, her eyes had a mischievous twinkle in them and she felt sexy and desirable.

This was to have an enormous affect on Haven.

  
Audrey Parker looked up from the file on her desk to ask her partner a question, but stopped when she saw the intent look on his face. The door to their office was open, as usual, and he was staring out into the main room where the uniformed officers went about the daily business of keeping Haven safe and secure.

Nathan was staring intently at his father, frowning in concentration. His mouth was a still line, and his eyebrows were creased with worry. Audrey sighed. The long-running bad relationship between father and son was obviously still in full swing. Their troubled relationship ate at her. There were times when she just wanted to grab Nathan by the shoulders and shake him, and tell him that he should be grateful that he had a father to be angry with. Not everybody was so lucky.

And then there were the times when she just wanted to _grab_ Nathan. Not that she could be blamed for that, she decided. Half the women in Haven were panting after him, and he seemed completely oblivious to it. She was doing her best to keep her growing attraction to herself; he got teased enough by the rest of the department for being the housewives’ choice, the last thing he needed was for her to be batting her eyelashes at him. Plus, and this was important, Audrey had never really had a relationship before. That involved time, and talking about your feelings a lot. Audrey really wasn’t very good with feelings, and life as a roving FBI agent wasn’t exactly conducive to dating. She made do with tumbling into bed with someone as and when the opportunity presented itself. Other FBI agents were remarkably helpful in that regard, as were the occasional bar pick ups. She spared a fond thought for the gorgeous guy with the amazing black car she had met in a small bar in the middle of nowhere. She had been coming back from a case, he was on his way to an unspecified job in an unspecified part of the country. It had only been one night, but it had been a great one.

Had she not discovered the picture of her mother, she would have moved on from Haven just as she had moved on from Santa Barbara, Miami and wherever else the FBI had sent her. She would have done her best to sleep with Nathan before she left, or Duke if Nathan had declined. Both were very attractive men. Then she would have driven away and left this small town with its weird weather behind her.

But she _had_ discovered the picture, and she _had_ stayed. Nathan had moved from “attractive man” to “work colleague” and then hesitantly to “friend”. Audrey was now caught in the confusing position of trying to be a good friend while simultaneously wishing that some Haven weirdness would make all his clothes fall off.

“Nathan?” she said, breaking the silence of the room. “What are you looking at?”

He was still staring at the busy main room.

“Nathan?” she repeated.

“My father,” he said, still staring through the doorway.

Audrey sighed. There was something to be said for the strong, silent type type, and often it was ‘tell me what’s bothering you, you ridiculous man’.

“Have you argued again?” she prompted, abandoning all pretence of reading the report in front of her.

“No,” he said, the frown lines growing deeper. “He smiled at me.”

“He smiled at you,” she repeated flatly.

“And told me I did a good job on the robbery job last week,” Nathan added. “Now he’s telling everyone out there a story about the time he helped track down Maine’s one and only serial killer, and how the Governor shook his hand and thanked him.”

Nathan looked over to her, clearly worried.

“I think there’s something wrong with him,” he announced.

“Right,” said Audrey slowly. “Because being cheerful is a sign of some great illness.”

“It is with him,” Nathan said stubbornly.

“Don’t you think you’re overacting a little?”

Before Nathan could say anything, the Chief entered their office.

“Good morning, Audrey!” he boomed, grinning at her. “Morning, Nathan. How are you both this morning?”

“Fine, Chief,” Audrey said, glancing at Nathan, who had said nothing at all. “And yourself?”

“Couldn’t be better,” he beamed. He looked at their desks, piled high with files. “How long have you been working?”

“Since six,” Nathan told him. “You wanted us to clear the backlog of open files, remember?”

“And there are a lot of them,” Audrey said. “You should hire more detectives.”

“Maybe I should,” the chief mused. “We do seem to be getting busier. Have you two had breakfast?” he asked suddenly, shifting subjects.

“Er…no, I haven’t,” Audrey said, throwing a look at Nathan, who was staring smugly at her.

“You should eat!” the chief said forcefully. “Every day should start with a good breakfast. Tell you what, take this,” he told her, peeling a few notes from his wallet, “and go down to Larissa’s, get a few boxes of breakfast pastries for the station. Make sure you get a raspberry one for Laverne.”

“Alright,” said Audrey, beginning to understand just why Nathan was so weirded out. She pulled on her coat and made for the door.

“Go on, son,” chided the chief. “Go with her and help her carry them.”

“I can manage a few boxes of pastries,” Audrey protested, but Nathan got up and went with her. As they left the room, he leant close and whispered in her ear.

“Told you he was being strange,” he said triumphantly.

“It could just be a good mood,” Audrey argued.

Nathan didn’t look convinced.

“He’s not exactly the good mood type,” he told her firmly, holding the door of the station open for her. They decided to walk to the bakery; it wasn’t that far and the fresh air was welcome after nearly four hours of work in their office.

Nathan drifted close towards her as they walked, his hand resting lightly on the small of her back whenever they had to move to pass other pedestrians or blockages on the street. It was still delivery time for the businesses of Haven, and there were often boxes outside the stores, ready for the owner to put away.

He had been doing that a lot, recently, she realised as they rounded the corner to the bakery. Little touches to her back, handing her in and out of the truck, pulling her chair for her when they sat down anywhere to eat. It was frustrating; with any other man, Audrey would have known exactly how to interpret them. But as there was no way that Nathan could be registering any sensation, he must be doing it to be polite. Gentlemanly.

Somewhere deep inside her, Audrey did not want Nathan to be a gentleman, so she encouraged the touching with gentle touches of her own. She knew it was a pointless exercise; there was no way he could feel her hand on his body. She felt almost guilty for doing it, but she just couldn’t help herself. His touch ignited something in her, and the fire was burning steadily.

Outside Larissa’s a queue was forming, and they joined the end of it. Happy customers exited the shop, already munching on their purchases. A few got to the end of the street, turned around and joined the queue again.

“Back for seconds, Tom?” Nathan joked with an older man. The man shrugged happily.

“I can’t explain it, Nathan, but I just can’t get enough,” he said with a wink. “You and your pretty partner here for breakfast?”

“We’re getting pastries for the department,” Audrey said quickly as Nathan frowned and half-stepped in front of her. “I’m Detective Parker, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Tom Anderson,” the older man said, shaking her hand firmly. “And if I wasn’t a happily married man, I’d let you arrest me any time you wanted to, Detective Parker.”

“Tom,” warned Nathan, but Audrey laughed.

“I’ll remind you of that next time you get a parking ticket,” she teased.

The queue shifted then, and Nathan hustled her into the shop. It was small and cosy, with a little area sectioned off for a few tables and chairs and the rest of the space given over to a long counter stuffed full of gorgeous baked goods. Audrey looked about, then smirked and elbowed Nathan in the ribs. He turned to her and raised an eyebrow, and she nodded to the three tables. Each held a local couple, and each couple was engaged in a very public display of affection.

“Did I miss Valentine’s Day again?” she asked.

“You missed Valentine’s Day?” he said, shocked, and her point was lost as they bickered and the queue moved forwards.

It wasn’t until much later that Audrey realised that Nathan had responded to her touch, but by then so much other stuff had happened it sort of paled in significance.

  
“Is it me, or are there a lot of flower vans about today?” Audrey asked much later that afternoon as they were running down a few leads on one of the old cases.

“Now that you mention it, yes,” Nathan replied, frowning as one such delivery van stopped in the middle of the road and the driver darted out, a massive bouquet of red roses in his arms. Nathan pulled past the truck and then to the kerb, and got out as the driver returned to his vehicle.

“You should really pull over, you know,” Nathan told him, flashing his badge. The driver groaned.

“I know man, I’m sorry. It’s just manic today, if I parked up properly every time I made a delivery, I’d be even more behind than I am right now.”

“Are you usually this busy in October?” Audrey asked him. The man snorted.

“We’re never this busy, even on Valentines,” he told her. “I’ve got forty seven deliveries today. Forty seven! And even more booked for tomorrow. And Crazy Daisies over on Bridge Street are just as bad. I’ve been passing their drivers all day.”

He looked hopefully at them.

“Can I go?” he asked. “It’s just that I’ve got a massive bunch of tulips that has to get to Derry by six.”

“Tulips in October?” Audrey said wistfully. “Wow.”

“I know, very pricy,” agreed the delivery guy. “My wife tried to tell him that gerberas were cheaper, but he insisted. Fifty pink tulips.”

“Go on,” said Nathan shortly. “Just be more considerate to other traffic next time?”

Promising he would, the delivery guy got back in his truck and zoomed off to make some tulip-loving woman very happy.

“Forty-seven deliveries?” said Audrey as they got back in the truck.

“There’ll be more walk-ins,” Nathan mused.

“And there’s the other florist,” she reminded him.

“Probably something we should keep an eye on,” he said, and started up the truck again. “Are any of those pastries left from earlier?”

“I grabbed a couple,” Audrey said, fishing about in her bag for a package wrapped in napkins. “I kept you a sausage one.”

“Best partner I ever had,” he told her, rewarding her with a rare smile.

“I’m the _only_ partner you’ve ever had,” she told him, rolling her eyes and tucking into an apple one.

“Doesn’t mean I’m wrong,” he said quietly, shooting her a heated look that was loaded with…something. Audrey blushed and looked out of the window, and the truck fell silent.

  
  
  
  
  
  
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“Down on the beach,” the owner of the house had told them. “I heard noises at the back door, so I went downstairs and flicked on the kitchen lights. I saw two people run down back through my garden and go through the gap in the fence. It leads to a path down to the beach. I think they must have gone down there.”

“What are the chances of us finding anything three weeks after the incident was reported?” Audrey asked as they followed the path down towards the beach.

“Pretty slim,” Nathan acknowledged. “But this way Mr Johnson can’t say we didn’t investigate, and we get to leave the office behind for a bit.”

“You’re still creeped out by your dad’s good mood?” Audrey asked, carefully negotiating the steep, uneven path.

“Audrey, when we left he was on the phone to the local elementary school agreeing to come in and give a talk to the kids about road safety.”

“And that’s weird because…”

“He hates school visits,” Nathan said flatly. “And last year he threw away the Percy the Police Dog costume because he said that if he wanted to frighten the kids into behaving right he’d bring a real German Shepherd.”

“Right,” agreed Audrey. “That is weird.”

They dutifully checked the beach for clues as they walked along it, but there was nothing there but sand and shells. There were also a few hidden rocks in the sand, one of which caught the toe of Audrey’s boot and sent her shooting forwards. Nathan stepped forward  
to catch her, but got his legs tangled with hers and they both landed in a heap on the sand.

“Audrey, are you ok?” Nathan asked, worry evident in his voice.

“Fine,” she sighed. “Just my pride that got bruised, that’s all.”

They shifted about until they were sitting on the sand.

“You’re covered in sand,” Audrey said in dismay, and started to brush it from his clothes. Nathan said nothing as she ran her hands over the front of his sweater, just shivered although it wasn’t particularly cold.

“God, it’s even in your hair,” she muttered, shifting about to reach his head. “I’m so sorry, Nathan.”

“S’alright,” he said, closing his eyes. Audrey raked her fingers through his hair until all the sand was gone, and then because his eyes were still shut and he was silent, indulged herself with playing with his hair for a little while longer.

“There,” she said eventually, resting her hands on his shoulders. “All clean. Should we head back?”

“Give me a minute,” he said, sounding slightly strange.

“Alright,” she agreed. She busied herself with cleaning the sand off her own clothes for a while until Nathan announced her was ready to go. He clambered up and extended a hand to pull her up. As soon as she put her full weight on her ankle, she yelped in pain and stumbled against him.

“Ankle?” he asked.

“I must have sprained it,” she said through gritted teeth. “It was fine until I tried to move. Don’t worry, I can manage. Find me a piece of driftwood to use as a stick.”

Nathan sighed, bent and swung her up into his arms. She began to protest at once, but he just started walking back towards the path.

“You’re not that heavy,” he told her. “Despite the amount of pastries you ate today.”

“If you could feel it, I’d punch you,” she told him.

“Life’s a bitch,” agreed Nathan, giving her a small smile,

Audrey wasn’t exactly waiflike, but she wasn’t that heavy either. He managed to carry her back along the beach without a lot of complaining, but they both looked at the steep path back up to the house without much pleasure.

“You’re lucky I like you,” he muttered as they started the climb.

“I’ll get lunch for the rest of the week,” Audrey promised.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” he told her.

He insisted that they visit Eleanor on the way home, despite her protests that she could handle a simple sprain, and hovered behind her, hand on her shoulder as Eleanor poked, prodded and wrapped it.

“Stay off it,” she advised. “Keep it iced and elevated, and give it time to heal.”

Nathan helped her stand, but before she could start to limp to the door he had wrestled her into his arms again.

“Did you not hear her say to keep off it?” he asked, exasperated.

Eleanor gave them a fond look as they bickered their way out of the door.

Audrey won the battle about going into work the next day, but Nathan watched her like a hawk the entire time. She convinced him to go on a food run at lunchtime, reminding him that she had promised to treat.

He returned thirty minutes later with two large bags from Larissa’s.

“I thought we were having Chinese?” she said, pushing away her keyboard with pleasure and diving into one of the bags.

“We were,” he said, shrugging. “But I had to pass Larissa’s to get there and she had just put out her pizza slices and before I knew it, I was buying them.”

“Well, I’m not complaining,” she told him. “As far as I’m concerned, I could eat there for every meal.”

“Her stuff is good,” Nathan agreed. “Half the town must have been in the queue.”

“Oh, pancakes!” Audrey said with pleasure, emptying her bag. “Lemon and sultana, my favourite.”

“They were for me,” Nathan grumbled. “I got you the chocolate brownies.”

“What’s the matter Nathan?” she teased. “Don’t you love me enough to share your pancakes with me?”

The stricken look on his face stopped her in her tracks

“Yes,” he said quietly. “I’d share my pancakes with you, Audrey. Any time you wanted.”

Quiet fell in their little room, and Audrey got the feeling that there was more being said than she was hearing. Or perhaps she wanted to hear more, and Nathan was just being kind. A blush started in her cheeks, and she looked away and down at her desk before looking up at him again.

“You’re off the hook this time,” she told him, aiming for a playful tone. “Because I just so happen to have a craving for brownies today.”

“Tough luck, gimpy,” he teased. “Because your chocolate brownies are all the way over here and you can’t get them. And they’re looking really good.”

“Hostage exchange?” offered Audrey.

“I’ll take a fifty-fifty split,” Nathan said, after weighing up his options.

“Done,” said Audrey firmly. “Now get over here with my half of the brownies.”

He deposited the brownies on the desk, carefully lifted her foot from the chair it was propped on and placed it gently in his lap as he appropriated the chair. They ate their lunch while discussing the files they were reviewing, making enthusiastic noises as they worked their way through the mountain of food Nathan had bought.

“Is it me, or did Larissa give us extra?” Audrey asked sleepily.

“She smiled at me a lot,” Nathan replied, idly stroking the sole of her foot. “Maybe she wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing.”

“Maybe she’s got a thing for you,” Audrey teased.

“Or you,” he shot back. “Everybody already knows you’ve hurt your ankle, maybe this is Larissa’s way of…buttering you up.”

Audrey knew he was trying for lascivious, but there was just no way he could pull it off.

“She’s not my type,” Audrey said firmly.

“What is your type?” Nathan asked, looking carefully out of the window and avoiding her eyes. His fingers never stopped stroking her foot, and his other hand tightened slightly on her leg.

“Well, male, for a start,” Audrey joked, and then fell silent. “I don’t think I have a type,” she said eventually. “I haven’t exactly been in a lot of relationships.”

“How many?” Nathan asked, glancing sideways at her before staring back out of the window again.

Audrey sighed before answering.

“None,” she said, sounding embarrassed. “I’m not good at them.”

“Not even in college?” Nathan asked, surprised.

“I worked two jobs in college, Nathan,” she reminded him. “And I was on a scholarship that meant that I had to keep my grades above a certain level or they cut my funding. That didn’t leave a lot of time for dating. And I’ve bounced around the country a lot since joining the FBI. I’ve never really stayed in one place long enough to start anything serious.”

She looked at him then, watching to see how he took her news. He was going slightly pink around the edges, she noticed.

“You’re not a…” he began, and she picked up her stapler and threw it at him.

“No,” she said heavily. “I said I hadn’t had any relationships, not that I haven’t had sex! And if you ask me how many men I’ve had sex with I’ll throw something heavier than a stapler at you.”

“Understood,” he said quickly, and went back to looking out of the window again. They were both blushing. The atmosphere, which had been so light and easy, turned heavy and thick with tension. Audrey was about to blurt out a knock-knock joke, just to lighten the mood, when Nathan stiffened.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Something I really wish I hadn’t seen,” he said, sounding both amused and horrified. “Steve’s wife has just turned up at work to surprise him.”

“So?” Audrey asked, craning her neck to see out of the window.

“So, she’s just wearing Saran wrap and a smile,” Nathan said, a smirk now on his face.

“Move,” Audrey told him, and hoisted herself over to the window where Steve, a uniformed officer, was enthusiastically embracing his wife in the middle of the street. Two cars had already mounted the kerb as their drivers watched in fascination, and a gaggle of pre-schoolers on a walk to the park were being hustled quickly in the opposite direction by their shocked teachers.

“Wow,” Audrey said eventually.

“Yeah,” Nathan agreed.

“That’s a lot of wrap,” Audrey said, beginning to smile.

“Sally’s a big girl,” Nathan observed.

“We should really go out there and stop them,” Audrey said eventually.

“They look like they’re having fun,” Nathan said.

“And breaking about six different public decency laws,” Audrey replied, limping back to her desk to pick up her badge.

“Stay there,” Nathan sighed, heading for the door. “I got this.”

“Don’t act like you’re not enjoying it!” Audrey called after him, and returned to the window to watch her partner try and break up Sally and Steve’s little show. She thought that the hose that Nathan eventually turned on them was a little much, but he was right. Sally was a big girl, and even covered in Saran wrap, could pack a hell of a punch.

“We’re a parody of a police department,” Nathan complained as Audrey later cleaned the cut on his cheek. He had her leg in his lap again as she leant forward to deal with his bruised and bloodied face.

“We should not have to book one of our own for public exposure, and his wife shouldn’t be charged with assaulting a officer,” he continued. “And we certainly shouldn’t have filmed the arrest for the Christmas party tape.”

“It would have been worse if you hadn’t have arrested them,” Audrey said, putting a sticking plaster over the cut. “And it has been known for tapes to have accidents.”

“I just wonder what tomorrow will bring,” Nathan groaned, and Audrey surprised herself by giving him an awkwardly positioned one-armed hug. Nathan let his head rest briefly on her shoulder, and they both sighed.

Audrey’s ankle was better the next day, but Nathan kept her in the office with it elevated again. Larissa herself appeared with breakfast for the lucky officers on duty in the station, with special bags for both Wuornos men and Audrey. The chief smiled at her, invited her into his office and shut the door.

Nathan stared at the shut door suspiciously, but had to abandon his attempt to develop x-ray vision when he saw Audrey try to snaffle his cheese Danish and exchange it for her boysenberry one.

“Maybe we should go for something healthier for lunch today,” Audrey said later as Nathan stood up to do the lunch run. “Maybe a salad?”

He returned with two bags from Larissa’s.

“I swear to God, I was aiming for the salad bar,” he said in a defensive voice. “But then one of the women behind the counter put out these sandwiches in the window and I was caught up in the rush. They’re going to need crowd barriers there soon.”

Audrey bit into the large chicken salad sandwich and let out an ecstatic groan.

“When sandwiches die and go to heaven, they go to Larissa’s,” she said through a mouthful of food.

Nathan, already deep into his sandwich, agreed with her.

Their lunch was interrupted by the arrival of the Teagues, both looking concerned and amused.

“We were wondering if we could have a quote for our next edition,” Vince explained, staring at the way that Nathan was caressing Audrey’s foot with one hand and shoving a sandwich into his mouth with the other. “About the festival of love that’s currently happening in Haven?”

Nathan frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Sixteen arrests for public nudity offenses, an unprecedented run on flowers and candy – so much so that the specialist chocolate store has completely sold out – and as of an hour ago, thirty seven couples filing for marriage licenses at the town hall,” Dave told him excitedly. “We haven’t checked with the churches yet.”

“Jewellery stores are reporting record sales,” Vince chipped in. “And some discreet observation of a certain drugstore aisle has shown a boost in sales of, uh, specific items.

Audrey turned to Nathan, confused.

“How come we didn’t spot it?” she asked.

Nathan, still tenderly stroking her foot, shrugged his shoulders.

“I have no idea,” said Vince dryly, exchanging a knowing look with his brother.

“We’ve been holed up in here for the last few days, what with Audrey’s ankle and all,” Nathan said thoughtfully. “Apart from runs to Larissa’s bakery, I haven’t really been out much.”

“We just passed the bakery,” Dave said. “The line is ridiculous. It was never that bad before. What is she making that’s got all of Haven trying to buy it?”

Nathan shrugged. “Just the usual stuff. It’s delicious, as usual, but it’s not different.”

“Maybe we should ask the Chief,” Vince mused. “He may know something about it.”

“Why would the Chief know anything about Larissa?” Audrey asked Nathan, who shrugged his shoulders and looked at the Teagues.

“You mean you didn’t know?” asked Dave, looking shocked.

“Didn’t know what?” Nathan demanded.

“Well, we all know that your father and Larissa were an item once, a long time ago. And it’s been a few years since Larissa’s husband passed away and your father has been seen, ah, relighting old fires.” Vince said delicately. “We assumed that you knew about it.”

“No,” said Nathan calmly. “The Chief and I aren’t exactly big on sharing personal details.”

“Well,” said Dave, embarrassed. “Clearly my brother has opened his mouth only to stick his foot in it once again. Congratulations, Vincent. We’ll be off now, detectives. Sorry to have bothered you.”

He hustled his brother through the door and down the passage, their bickering clearly audible from the office.

“Wow,” Audrey said eventually. “Awkward.”

Nathan shrugged. “Not really,” he said eventually. “Mom’s been dead a long time.”

He faded into silence then, but he didn’t move from Audrey’s side for the rest of the day.

He drove her back to her apartment that evening after their shift had finished. The last few shoppers were exiting Larissa’s bakery, and the lady herself was behind the counter, pressing buttons on the cash register.

“Do you think that there’s anything to the Teagues’ theory about Larissa?” Nathan asked suddenly.

Traffic moved and he had to pull forwards, the bakery disappearing from view.

“I hate to say it,” Audrey said after a moment’s thought. “But weirder things have happened here. And she’s been incredibly busy this week. Lots of people have been eating her food. All of the station have. We have.”

“So, what is it?” he asked, staring ahead at the road. “People who eat Larissa’s food fall in love now?”

“Maybe it’s more than that,” Audrey said thoughtfully. “Maybe people are just falling in love because she is. Maybe her emotions are affecting her food. We’ve seen it before.”

“Laverne was vicious for a week,” Nathan said eventually. “She always buys her lunch rolls at Larissa’s. Then all of a sudden she was back to normal again, as if nothing had happened.”

They both stared at the road ahead, both not wishing to say the thought that was buzzing around their brains. They both looked slyly at each other out of the corner of their eyes, then looked away again.

“Pull over,” Audrey said eventually. Nathan took a small turning off the main road and parked up in a quiet side-street. They both sat in silence again, until Audrey couldn’t bear it any more.

“We’ve both eaten Larissa’s food all week,” she said heavily.

“I just kept getting…pulled towards her store,” Nathan said, shaking his head. “Like it was out of my control. But I didn’t mind, not even when the queues were long. Nobody did. We were all happy and smiling.”

“I loved every bite,” Audrey confessed. “And as soon as I had finished, I wanted more.”

They stared at each other, then looked away.

“I’ve been taking every opportunity I could get to touch you,” Audrey said bravely to the window frame. “I know you couldn’t feel it, and I’m sorry that I did it without your permission, but I just couldn’t help myself.”

Her cheeks were burning bright red now, and tears were starting to burn the corner of her eyes.

“I felt it, Audrey,” he said quietly.

Her head whipped around, her face the very picture of shock.

“I’ve been able to feel you for a little while,” he continued, staring at his steering wheel. “Nobody else, just you. I was too scared to tell you in case I frightened you away. That’s why I’ve been so…desperate to touch you, in any way I could.”

Silence reigned in the cab of the truck.

“You haven’t frightened me away, Nathan,” Audrey said determinedly, brushing at the treacherous tears that had escaped her eyes and turning to face him. “I’m glad you can touch me, because I’ve wanted you to for so long and I…”

She was cut off my Nathan taking hold of her arms and yanking her across the front bench until she landed in an untidy heap in his arms. She grabbed hold of his hair and tugged at it until their mouths fit together properly.

They broke apart to catch their breath, then dived back at each other for more.

“Is this…really you…” she panted between desperate kisses, “or…the food?”

“Me,” he groaned, abandoning her mouth in favour of scraping his lips and teeth along her neck. “All me.”

“Since when?” she demanded, running a hand possessively over his thigh and palming the impressive bulge in his jeans.

“God,” he gasped, pulling at her shirt and popping the buttons clear off. Little ‘pings’ were heard from all over the cab as her shirt popped open and her bra was exposed. “Since….since the lack of a cannon on the cliff.”

He abandoned talking for another use of his mouth on the exposed skin of her chest. She revelled in the sensation of his thumbs caressing the silky material of her bra, rubbing gently at her nipples.

“Do that harder,” she moaned. “I’m not made of glass.”

She adjusted her angle slightly and unzipped his jeans. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in, but she was able to free him from his underwear and wrap one of her small hands around his shaft.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Nathan,” she said delightedly into his ear, taking the opportunity to nip at his earlobe while she was there. “Show me what you like.”

“I’d like anything,” he panted fervently. “It’s been so long.”

“It is rather,” she said wickedly, gripping firmly as she brought her hand up and down.

He gasped with laughter and kissed her hairline, closing his larger hand around hers. He guided her hand in a quick rhythm up and down his shaft while he put his head against the juncture of her neck and her shoulder and worried the skin there with his lips and teeth.

His orgasm hit him quickly and loudly; he panted it into the skin of her chest, and then groaned in appreciation as he watched her lick her fingers slowly.

“It’s sweet,” she said appreciatively. “Must be all the pastries you’ve been eating.”

“I want to taste you,” he growled, pulling at her trousers.

It took some doing getting her jeans down and off over her bandaged ankle, but Nathan was a man on a mission and Audrey wasn’t complaining. Her underwear was whipped off, then Nathan’s head disappeared between her legs and all she could focus on was the sensation of his lips and tongue dancing between her thighs.

She bucked up uncontrollably against his face, a babble of aroused nonsense escaping her lips. He shifted position slightly to hitch her legs over his shoulders, and he pressed his hands into her hips to keep her in position while he directed all his loving attention to the tiny pink centre of her pleasure. She screamed out her orgasm, the waves of pleasure crashing through her body just like the way the sea pounded against the local coastline.

He collapsed on top of her, sweaty and shaking, and somehow they managed to lay together on the bench seat without falling off or jarring her ankle. They traded fervent kisses, searching out their own taste on the other’s tongue.

“Well,” Audrey said eventually. “That was…unexpected.”

“Unwanted?” Nathan asked, concern obvious in his voice.

She kissed him to reassure him, and got lost in his embrace for a while.

“No,” she said. “No, no no.”

Then she slapped him across the top of the head.

“What was that for?” he asked, rubbing it with a delighted smile on his face.

“For not telling me you could feel me until now,” she told him. “Just think of the time we wasted!”

“I’m very sorry,” he said earnestly, pausing between each word to drop a kiss on her smiling mouth.

“I suppose you’re forgiven,” she sighed, running her fingers through his hair.

They lay entwined on the bench for a while until the passing rumble of an engine reminded them of exactly where they were.

“Shit, do you suppose anybody saw?” asked Audrey anxiously, trying to find a way to close her shirt with only three working buttons.

“No, don’t worry,” Nathan said calmly. “These are all second homes along here, the houses are all dark.”

He pulled off his sweater and gave it to her to wear before tucking himself back into his jeans and starting the engine.

“So, what now?” he asked as the truck rumbled into life and moved down the road.

Audrey slid along the bench seat until she was tucked under his arm.

“Now you take me back to my apartment, take me to bed and make me see stars again,” she told him in a decided tone.

“I’ve got no arguments,” he told her, amused, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. “But I meant about Larissa.”

Audrey fell silent.

“She seems so nice,” she said eventually. “And if she is Troubled, then it’s not her fault. Besides, it’s not as if she’s harming anyone.”

“The food is still good,” Nathan said. “But what if she’s having a bad day and everyone gets angry when they eat her food and something awful happens?”

“It’s still not her fault,” Audrey said obstinately. “People have choices. I didn’t have to tell you what I did. I could have kept my mouth shut. I just got tired of lying to you.”

“Same here,” Nathan replied, pulling up outside Audrey’s apartment.  
“And there’s your father to consider,” she went on. “If he is involved with her, he’s the one making her feel so good. He’s not going to be happy if we tell him that the woman he loves is Troubled.”

Nathan sighed. “We’ll sleep on it,” he told her. “Decide in the morning.”

“Eventually,” Audrey purred, tangling her fingers in his hair.

“Eventually,” he agreed, smiling.

Eventually was the correct word; they were late to work the next morning, delayed by a hundred kisses good morning and impromptu shower adventure that threatened Audrey’s recovering ankle and Nathan’s back. They were not the only ones late to the office – the Chief’s door was shut and his car missing from the parking lot. He eventually arrived an hour after Nathan and Audrey, and the first thing he did was call them both into his office.

Although her ankle was practically sound, Nathan took the opportunity to slip a supportive arm around her waist as they made their way to his father’s office.

Chief Wuornos was sitting behind his desk, tapping irritably at his computer with the two-fingered peck of a man that was happier with a pen and a pad.

“Sit down before you fall down, Parker,” he snapped.

“What’s this about, Chief?” Nathan asked.

His father sighed.

“Have you noticed anything…strange, recently?” he asked.

Nathan and Audrey exchanged looks.

“There’s been a sharp rise in public nudity arrests,” Audrey said. “And apparently the drugstore is selling out of condoms.”

“Jewellery,” Nathan said hastily, nudging Audrey. His father was of the generation that didn’t react well to the word ‘condom’ said aloud. “Candy, too, and flowers. All very popular at the moment.”

“As is Larissa Donovan’s bakery,” said the Chief heavily.

Nathan and Audrey exchanged a heavy look.

“Come out and say it,” the Chief snapped. “It’s not like I haven’t been thinking it too.”  
“We think that it’s possible that Larissa’s moods may be affecting her baking,” Audrey said carefully. “And that the current mood of, well, love in Haven is down to her.”

“You think this too?” the Chief asked Nathan.

“I do,” he said calmly. “And compared to other Trouble we’ve had, it seems pretty minor.”

“It does, doesn’t it,” the Chief said eagerly, latching on to any opportunity he had to make something good out of the problem. Then he sighed.

“But it can’t last,” he said. “What if her mood changes? What if she gets mad? What will happen then?”

“It’s not her fault,” Nathan said calmly, echoing Audrey from the night before. “We all have to make our own choices. Just because we’re in a bad mood it doesn’t mean we have to take it out on others.”

The Chief looked at him gratefully, and Audrey realised that the Wuornos men had just taken a giant leap towards a working father-son relationship.

“I’ll handle it,” the Chief said brusquely. “Don’t you worry about it, now. You two go back to working on those open files.”

They made their way back towards the door when the Chief spoke again.

“Oh, and Nathan? The Williams house out on Oak Tree Avenue has been let for a few months, and the couple renting it were complaining about a few horny teenagers necking in a truck outside last night. You may want to look into that.”

“Understood, Chief,” Nathan said tightly, and Audrey clutched reflexively at the one turtleneck shirt she owned, worn to cover the lovebites that Nathan had enthusiastically suckled into her neck the night before.

They made it all the way back into their office and managed to close the door before collapsing into mortified laughter.

“How did he know?” gasped Audrey.

“There’s a reason he’s the chief,” Nathan said, shaking his head and smiling before taking a hole-punch to the chest.

“That didn’t hurt,” he assured her, picking it up off the floor.

“It’ll bruise,” she assured him. “And that was for me believing you when you said nobody was watching!”

“I think it is beginning to bruise,” Nathan said as he peered down his shirt to look at his chest.

“Want me to kiss it better?” Audrey asked, a dirty smile on her face.

“Always,” he assured her, and she did just that.


End file.
